FAD 3.0

Victoria London shows her talent of making even the most innocent of citrus fruits look like as hot as a nipple slip. Oh, wait, am I just imagining it?

And so it came to pass: Victoria London sort of celebrated her 25th birthday on Oct. 19 at Fiamma somewhere in Makati, Philippines, and she’s sharing some of the pictures. For the complete set of photos, go here, here, and of course here!

Who wouldn’t wanna be in that girl’s (in blue) position?

Avid readers of Flesh Asia Daily may already know by now that the blog is all about male sexually-charged ribald kind of literature. I write naughty stuff because that’s how dudes who like semi-nekkid chicks talk. But there are some, especially the yummy celebrities I often blog about, who won’t appreciate the kind of stuff I do here. Victoria London (amazing photo above) for instance, who sent me an email last weekend demanding me to take down this post I made months ago. But before that, for context’s sake, below is Victoria’s email:

Attn: MIKE CHANCO

We will be on our way to the police station, photographer Jim Paredes
(who the pictures belong to) and I, Victoria London along with several
members of the press and will appeal to Sen. Loren Legarda to shut
down your site.

How dare you put your site label on his pictures. Also, how tacky do
you have to be to write the paragraph below?

We will file a blotter for exploitation, theft of photography property
and of course a libel suit.

Of course, we are very reasonable, and will accept a retraction and an
apology on your site that we are monitoring closely. I am not a
difficult person to deal with, I am honored to be on your site but I
would appreciate more respect and of course for you to acknowledge
that the photos were taken by Jim Paredes. If you fail to comply by
Monday we will have no choice but to take action.

“I don’t know who Victoria London is, but people tell me she’s this
starlet from the Philippines who used to dance in a local noon-time
show. But who cares? Despite these clever angles to make her waist
look thinner than its actual width, I won’t mind the extra flab and
the occasional faint stretch mark. Victoria London is still an awesome
sight.”

Sincerely,
Victoria London

Now, I don’t easily buy it when somebody just materializes out of nowhere claiming she is that celebrity, so in response I sent this sort of “doubtful Thomas” mail just to clarify things a bit with her.

Hi “Victoria”,

Since that blog post, I’ve come to “witness” Victoria London’s “hotness” as a human being. I’m sure I’d fall under Victoria’s spell if I ever had the good fortune to meet her in person, as many other fellows would probably have. But to respond to your seemingly legal threats, in the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, I’d like to say, “Come again?”

You don’t even have to mention Loren Legarda, who I hate for her congenital need to preen for the press in the absence of real accomplishments, to say my blog has offended you.

You only need to tell me, “Hey, I didn’t like what you said about me. It’s tacky, offensive, disgusting, and something only a dog could write. And by “dog,” that means you. And by the way, those photos showing me how hot I am were shot by Jim Paredes.”

And you know what, I would gladly do what you say — anything for a pretty girl.

Anyway, although something tells me you’re actually some wanker named “Arnulfo” or “Bogart” and most probably not Her Majesty, The Victoria Ann London herself, (it’s very easy to make some Gmail addy, as any kid knows. And not because you began your email with “I, Victoria London” makes anything “legal sounding.” Jesus, whoever taught you that that is the way to “talk” to nice people like myself deserves a good spanking), I would like to ask you first what exactly is a retraction and an apology? Tell me in bullshit-free words and I’ll most probably do it. Not only am I thrilled that someone like Victoria London would “care enough to send me the very best” threat, I’m also curious as hell how thoroughly I might have offended your delicate sensibilities. So please tell me in plain, happy English. And smile when you do so, please.

And oh, care to give me proof that you’re actually Victoria London so I can brag about it to my pig friends?

Yours sincerely,

MC (just like JC [jesus c] but tastes a lot better! (TM))

A few hours after I had fired off that email, Victoria then sent me 3 consecutive mails. They are the following:

[1]

i will gladly give you a call if you leave me a cell number or please
come to my regular show boys night out at magic 89.9 paragon plaza
ortigas 9-12midnight every wednesday. all this pettiness to prove that
its the real “VICTORIA LONDON”.

[2]

By the way, if you have indeed come to “witness” my “hotness” why
would you write such a hurtful paragraph right under my picture? do
you find it amusing to verbally degrade women? It’s not funny, nor is
it appreciated.

YOU WROTE: “I don’t know who Victoria London is, but people tell me
she’s this
starlet from the Philippines who used to dance in a local noon-time
show. But who cares? Despite these clever angles to make her waist
look thinner than its actual width, I won’t mind the extra flab and
the occasional faint stretch mark.

[3]

Event InfoName:
FHM Lingerie Babe Victoria London’s 25th Birthday Bash
Tagline:
ooh ooh and its at FABULOUS FIAMMA, SEXXXY AND WILD, Dare me?
Host:
Carlo Trillo, Victoria London and all the Fiamma Hotties!
Type:
Party – Birthday Party
Time and PlaceStart Time:
Friday, October 19, 2007 at 10:00pm
End Time:
Saturday, October 20, 2007 at 9:00am
Location:
Fiamma
Street:
Jupiter St., Makati
City/Town:
Makati, Philippines

View Map
Contact InfoPhone:
639178154114
Description
Please come and celebrate my Quarter Life (crisis) birthday party. I’d
love to see you and I’d be incredibly insulted if there was one person
left standing after all that celebrating…in fact we might have to
have an emergency sleepover right in Fiamma coz no one can drive home.
haha. You know I love you and wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone
else! So please come and party with us!

You might realize that at this point I was already convinced that I was dealing with the real McCoy here, which strangely thrilled me because hey, some chick like Victoria London, who my friends and I actually fantasize about, was communicating with me. So finally, I sent the following “defensive” retort.

oh, alright, i’ll pretend this time that i believe you’re victoria london. so here’s a little sort of defense for my side.

i’m doing that blog in that “verbally degrading” way because that’s exactly how “male chauvinist pigs” talk among friends — we don’t censor ourselves, we fantasize about hot women like you, and we can be brutally frank about our flesh-related opinion. and you know what, guys like me are your market. what do you think are the kind of men who buy those magazines and attend those shows that feature you? do you really think they’re the kind of guys who won’t say “hey, i think that’s a stretch mark right there.” do you think they’re the kind of guys who snap ten “Our Fathers” whenever they get a raging hard-on when they look at your photos? No. the kind of guys who ARE YOUR MARKET talk exactly like me, think like me, and are also as heartbreakingly shallow.

bottom line is, guys talk and want to have sex all the time, and hot girls like you fuel our fantasies and keep the local men’s magazine industry alive and flourishing. i assure you we are completely, totally superficial. and yes, you have gigs because of guys like me. so shouldn’t you be thanking me and my ilk instead of insisting i degraded you? if men like myself suddenly stop coming to your shows and buying your magazines, how the hell is that industry going to thrive, eh?

now to be fair, you cleverly deleted the last line of that paragraph i wrote. it said, and i quote, “Victoria London is still an awesome sight.” and i meant it. maybe you seem to have put on some weight in those pics (ooops! no offense) , but personally, that only made me love you more. you’re smashing, baby. you didn’t even have to do anything; you only had to sit there and pout at the camera.

now, if you’re really victoria london, then i feel weird because the last thing i would want is having a “fight” with a woman — especially to someone as pretty as you are. so to end this amicably, all this stuff goes live in a blog post, i’ll tag jim paredes as the rightful photographer of those snaps, and then maybe if you have photos of yourself (especially from your up-and-coming 25th bday bash), please feel free to send them to me and i’ll be happy to post them, and i’ll be so darned nice and sweet you’d be tearfully proud of having emailed me.

deal?

And again, Victoria finally sends the short but cool email below:

you know what? since you’ve been so sweet to comply, I would like you
to grace my bday party at fiamma on friday. please come up and
introduce yourself (feel free to bring your “sexually charged”

pals..lolz) and we’ll have a drink for shiz and giggles. deal?

Please understand that I’m posting everything here purely for the reason of chronology; I don’t want to paraphrase what Victoria and I “talked” about. I want to present things as they happened. So for Victoria, I usually don’t do this (especially for somebody I despise — such as preening politicians like Loren Legarda), but you’re an amazing girl and since that last email you sent me you’ve become one of my personal goddesses, so here it is: the photos (in this blog post and also the one above) were indeed taken by Jim Paredes, and I was being an ass when I wrote those “terrible, terrible” words. But please know that this thing happens only between you and I; I would of course continue writing the way I do, but maybe only about other female celebs. From now on, you’re one of the “positive things” I will blog about.

And guys, Victoria London‘s having a bday bash on Friday, Oct. 19 somewhere in Makati, Philippines (refer to her email above). I’m not sure if the invite extends to “just about anyone,” but maybe show up at Fiamma and see what happens. And remember to snap a photo or two and email them to me.

So are we done here?

I don’t know who Victoria London is, but people tell me she’s this starlet from the Philippines who used to dance in a local noon-time show. But who cares? Despite these clever angles to make her waist look thinner than its actual width, I won’t mind the extra flab and the occasional faint stretch mark. Victoria London is still an awesome sight.

Update: Confused? Angry about somebody taking away the fun of gawking at Victoria London’s semi-nekkid pics? See the interesting context here.