Bang-ing Yer Brains Out
stored in: News Bullets. November 1st, 2008 posted by Mike Chanco

As the quick among you probably know, Valerie “Bangs” Garcia is banging Maxim’s November issue, which means you can expect a bang-ing week ahead. But before I actually run out of “bangs”-related puns, here are juicy answers to your juicier questions, in bullet points!

  • Yes, FAD has indeed somewhat “dangerous” pop-up ads [check out the newly updated Support and FAQ, item # 5]. And yes, I’m having them because my ass is up against a wall and at this point [with the US economy up to its neck in poop, and along with it the downward spiral of online ads valuation], as pop-up ads are the ones that pay the best, I have no choice but to continue running them to help pay server bills, malware or no malware. But there’s a little, nifty solution: donate a very small amount (through Paypal or through Gcash–Philippines only), and you will have the privilege of surfing the ad-free version of this blog. It’s a one-time laughably small donation, but it gives you ads-free access to this blog for all eternity. Yay, solutions!
  • Yes, the hype is all true: FHM’s November issue has a whole bunch of the hottest pieces of ass (POAs), like Precious Adona, Joyce So, and others. Not only that indicates FHM’s special hotness for its special issue, it also points to the possibility of an autograph signing orgy. Five girls, people, godfuckingdammit! So for this occasion, I’m personally sending my most trusted DSLR-wielding friend photographers to shoot the girls right as they’re signing their names and mouthing the immortal words, “Oh, Papi, do you mind if I dot my I’s and cross my T’s with smileys that look like they’re giving blowjobs?” I might even be there, stroking my white beard, hiding my boner, nodding sagaciously like God Himself at the goodness of it all. Watch out!
  • Playboy Philippines will still suck!
  • Uno magazine, I’m sure, will still suck, despite the fleeting breather named Ellen Adarna.
  • Yes, many have already donated, and those who have done so swear that since gaining access to the ads-free FAD, their penises have increased an average length of 2 to 4 inches! We’re talking about longer cocks, people! And maybe thicker, too! Okay, seriously, thanks to the early birds, you know who you are. And to those who are still straddling the fence, unsure of actually dipping their hands into this whole thing, make up your minds. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Have a great weekend, folks!

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2 Comments

2 Responses to “Bang-ing Yer Brains Out”

  1. chaos Says:
    November 1st, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    AdBlock Plus will solve the ads/malware problem. Google it. It’s very handy.

  2. i'd fuck roxanne Says:
    November 2nd, 2008 at 1:17 am

    damn…guess i’d bang bangs, too.

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